Ways Of The Cane: GoodBye Mel Fisher

Ways Of The Cane: GoodBye Mel Fisher: Growing up Fisher isn’t terrible, is funny, snarky, and in spite of the occasional disparaging quote about disability, the show works. So ...

GoodBye Mel Fisher

Growing up Fisher isn’t terrible, is funny, snarky, and in spite of the occasional disparaging quote about disability, the show works. So why is it being canceled?

Mel Fisher is a successful lawyer, father of two, and main focus of the show, who has depended on his family and 12 year old son in particular, to act as human guide dogs, until a divorce forces him to get a real guide dog and honestly face his blindness for the first time. The show is formulated around the family dealing with change, the kids growing up, and the unit as a whole keeping their individuality  and family identity as they branch out from underneath a patriarch who jumps back and forth between being a charismatic and larger-than-life presence, and at the same time a helpless goofball.

So, what’s the problem with the Fishers? I personally had no issues with a show about a half amazing/half clown blind lawyer and his enabling family. For many who haven’t come to well adjusted terms with their disabilities, walking the line between exceptional and comic relief is a daily occurrence. My issue was not the portrayal of disability, it was the show itself.

I was curious to know what others thought of Growing Up Fisher. As a blind person watching a show about another blind person, my opinion felt absolutely   biased, and as such I wanted to take a look at what actual “abled bodied” reviewers and critics had agreed upon before I shared my thoughts. Their issues were as follows: It’s not believable that a successful blind lawyer would be able to hide his disability from everyone for so long; and the show is just too happy, contrived, and seems very classically “sitcom" without any serious plot or character development. Other issues had to do with the parents and their May-December relationship but no one really had an issue with blindness, very likely because it’s not very easy to feel sorry for Mel Fisher. Before we know Mel cannot see, , he is introduced to us as the typical know it all dad as he cuts down a large tree with a chainsaw in his yard, and this sets up the rest of the show, as Mel stubbornly does things  which initially seem to go against society’s idea of the passive blind person. As the episodes progress, you question less and less whether it’s “believable” or not for someone who is blind to do the things Mel does, and you simply take him for what he is: a cocky, stubborn, lawyer.  

Still, let’s address the possibility of Mel Fisher being able to have a successful career while hiding his blindness. He is not an unusual character as far as blind people are concerned. I would say that many of us have faked, use trickery, and deception for much of our lives in order to deal with the stigma that society places on blindness. As a blind person, I would disagree with those which say that this is not a believable aspect of the show: it’s not only believable, it’s how many blind people have managed to be successful. The sitcom is based on writer DJ Nash’s true family life experiences, and the show is meant to be semi-autobiographical.

But the critics and reviewers are right about one thing, and that is that the show is simply too happy, too familiar, and too bland. For the first time in television, a network has the opportunity to explore these unique characters and situations which we have never really come across before in a sitcom or drama, and can bring to light the nuances of disability in a believable and relatable context. Instead of an original show, they gave viewers silly jokes, cuteness, and life lessons at the end of each snarky but forgettable half-hour episode. And of course, the show will not be renewed for another season. This does not come as a surprise.

What’s even more of a tragedy about Growing Up Fisher is that it was the only show which featured a blind individual who didn’t make me cringe or yell at the screen every time he was on, because he only traveled by hanging on the arm of everyone, or didn’t use a cane or dog and this made him superior to other blind people somehow, or could see with their hearts instead of their eyes, or had some strange ability, mystical power or lesson to teach that good intentioned but lost soul of an abled bodied person. I was actually able to focus on the quality of the show, instead of focusing on whether or not I felt misrepresented as a person with a disability.

Mel Fisher had issues, he was divorced, he tricked people for most of his life into believing that he could see more than he could, he used his friends and family to compensate for a lack of basic skills, and at the same time, he was educated, knew enough about driving to teach his daughter how to do so, impressed people through his wits not his disability, and managed to be an inspiration to his ex-wife and children. He was complex but the sitcom didn’t want to explore complexity. His family really had a unique story, but the network chose to focus on quick mediocre comedy. And, when there are popular sitcoms out there like Modern family, which bring to light gender issues, ageism, and cultural differences, and you have dramas out there like Switched at Birth and Parenthood that directly focus on disability through the lenses of social status, empowerment, neglect, culture and characters which go through the full spectrum of human emotion, Growing Up Fisher just seems to offer the same old thing, feels late to the game by about a decade, and comes across as lazy and poorly executed television.

And after all that criticism, I still have to say that a semi-complex blind central character in an outdated and cheesy mediocre sitcom, is better than the usual: no representation on television at all.

Goodbye Mel Fisher.  

 

Strangers Among Us: Wwhy Able Bodied People Refuse To Not Help

While roaming about Facebook, I came across the following blog The Braille Code 

It describes a blind woman’s frustration with being the constant receiver of “help” from the sighted public, and the intricacies of navigating a world which expects gratitude and praise from people with disabilities for providing assistance, even when that assistance is unnecessary and unrequested. Erin Isn’t ungrateful in her post, she is understanding of the able bodied person’s dilemma when encountering someone with a disability and their immediate reaction to want to jump in and be of assistance, and at the same time, she encourages those who wish to be helpful to use common sense and not to grab, drag, and treat people with disabilities as inferior. 

There is so much going on when these interactions take place that it is difficult to really get a handle on the root of the problem. And, while much has to do with society’s expectations for people with disabilities, which are not very high, I suspect that it has to do in greater part with how the brain processes information.

Not too long ago, we were wowed by the discovery of Mirror Neurons (check out the clip)

These neurons fire up when an animal watches another animal perform a task, but more importantly, they also fire up when an animal performs the task itself. Observations led scientists to the belief that for these neurons, there was no difference in the animal performing an action, and the animal watching another animal perform the same action. Studies led to investigations into empathy, consciousness, and how we perceive, understand, and interact with others around us. After all, why is it that if you see me hit my finger with a hammer, you wince at my pain, or why is it that if you had tears in your eyes, and are sniffling, I’d probably ask if you were ok and assume you were crying? Our interactions however, are more complex than reading into others pain and emotions.

Imagine you’re watching a street performer. She begins to break dance and you can understand the movement, as it relates to the music, and you are amazed by the skill and flexibility of the performance. But you’re not a dancer. All you see is amazing athletic ability, and feel that the dancer is doing something with their body which you cannot do.

In the three minutes of the performance, are you thinking about how many months or years she has spent developing her skill? Do you consider the exercise and physics which allow her to spin on her head? How about the fact that the head spin is one of the most recognizable moves in that style of dancing, and that while mastering takes much practice, the basics can be grasped by most beginners, which makes it impressive, but not extraordinary.  Most of us would not.  We just see something pretty awesome which is recognizable and complex.

Of course, if you were a break dancer watching the same performance, there might be different things on your mind. You would relate not only to the movement and music, but you would know in much greater detail, how it would physically feel to have performed. You would know which moves take more power, which ones take more skill, which ones take a long time to master, and for you, amazing would have a very different definition. You are experiencing the performance differently, both physically and psychologically than the non-dancer would.

When that sighted person sees someone blind walking across a street, they might as well have covered their own eyes and have attempted to find a bench, or a car, or to cross themselves. Of course they cannot do it, so it’s obvious that you could not do it either; not unless they themselves have some experience or exposure to blind people and how they navigate the environment without sight. They’re reaction will probably be panic, immediate assistance, wonder, and basically a lack of true empathy. It’s like asking someone with two left feet to do a head spin on their first try.

Most able bodied persons have little or no way to relate to people with disabilities. Unlike break dancers, we are not on TV, we are not in the workforce, and we many times hide from disclosure, acceptance and solidarity out of fear that we will face discrimination.

However, here is the societal twist: now imagine that you are watching a street performance of a man dressed in full ninja gear. I mean the works, he’s got a sword, the hoodie, and even those cool ninja boots. He places a blindfold over his eyes, picks up his sword and begins to chop watermelons, walk around and interact with the public, cross a busy intersection, block objects thrown in his direction, fight off attackers, climb a tree, ride a bike, shoot arrows at a target… Are you amazed? Is this an awesome and mystical street performance?

Is the point too subtle? What is it about the performance of this ninja mentioned above, which makes it extraordinary? He is using non-visual techniques to enhance his perception of the environment while his eyes are not being used. In other words, he is using techniques in his performance which most blind people use on a day-to-day basis to accomplish extremely ordinary things. All he has done is made a spectacle out of something which for many people is typical.

Yet we don’t see it that way. The man in ninja gear is a martial arts master, he has extra sensory perception, and he has reached this incredible state of being through the knowledge of forbidden ancient secrets.

The societal twist is this: while we are positively amazed at the martial artist for covering his eyes and giving us a great performance, we are filled with pity and unrequired sympathy for the blind person.

And as  envision the martial arts master as someone who has reached such a level of expertise that he can apply his skill with  his eyes closed, the general public imagines a blind person to be clumsy, feeble and in a constant state of helplessness.

We can’t read each other’s minds. This is the problem. Non-visual techniques are an every day thing for me, but for someone who is sighted, these techniques do not exist, they just perceive darkness and confusion. While these mirror neurons might be responsible for empathy, the feeling is a projection of our own understanding of the other person’s world. We recognize that when someone else eats, we are not the ones that are eating, but we understand the relationship that the other person has to food, through our relationship to food, our society’s relationship to food, and our openness to new experiences.

So, will that able bodied person ever stop hounding us to use their assistance? Not as long as we are not visible in society. The mechanisms are inherently in us for true understanding and communication among ourselves.  Now, we just have to work at becoming nothing out of the ordinary.

 

Short Ending

4 months after finishing training, I still find myself
having trouble ending this blog. In part it is because I know that it is
difficult to put away a chapter in your life and continue moving forward, but
also, I’ve come to realize that training never really ends. You never really
learn all there is to learn, or do all there is to do. The one thing you can do
is simply gain more understanding, do more, and never be surprised at the
things you have yet to learn, accomplish, and understand.

Yes, it sounds a little cheesy, but it’s the truth. One day
you’re walking along confidently, having completed 8 months of top notch blindness
training, and thinking absolutely nothing of blindness and you ask someone if
the unmarked door in front of you is the men’s room, and hear someone tell the
person you’ve just asked the question to softly reply: “you know, there is no
one inside if you want to help him.”

That may throw you off for a bit, but you have got to
remember that just because you understand blindness, it doesn’t mean that
everyone else does or will.

My training has ended. It all flew by and I am absolutely grateful
to have put aside time to do so. If you aren’t sure what to expect, are curious
about receiving this type of training, go and visit one of the NFB centers, see
if it is something that you can benefit from. It will challenge you, I will not
say otherwise, but it is worth it.

I no longer live in NY, and have started a new job in a new
city.

This is the last post on this blog.

Thank you for reading and I hope that someone out there has a clearer perspective of
what to expect, what they might think while they are there, and if it is
something worth looking into.

Fashion show

While in Ruston, the NFB of northern Louisiana put together a fashion show in bennefit of an organization dedicated to working with children of the community. Here are some clips of tehat fashon show!

Enjoy!

And of course, I am in it.

Part 1: http://youtu.be/6b8tf1xTdiA
Part 2: http://youtu.be/51NgW6N1BSo
Faces of the Show: http://youtu.be/C8IUUp6dRnU

You can also find them all on
the blog: http://cityoflightsfashionshow.blogspot.com/

The wetness

Thoughts have crossed over and over in my mind as to why this blog has not been updated in months, and the reason still escapes me. I’ve sat down a couple of times and attempted to write about my experiences at the NFB national convention in Orlando this past July, and how great the hotel was, how wonderful the staff was, how I loved eating real Cuban food after almost 4 months of deep fried Louisiana goodness, my fingers wouldn’t type, and when they did, my true thoughts were not in the writing.

So, I’m just updating, complete thoughts or incomplete ones…

Next week, all of the staff and students are going rafting. I’m not sure if “rafting” is the same as white water rafting, but a rubber raft, water, rapids, and adrenalin are involved. Yes, I am excited about this. This seems like the type of activity that I would normally love to do, but perhaps some months ago, might have questioned and wondered how exactly to go about doing it. Frankly now, I just don’t care. It’s something I want to do, and I’ll be enjoying myself. There will be some zip lining, ropes courses and a possible water park included in this trip as well. You may ask yourself, why are a bunch of blind people who are to be receiving blindness training doing this? Well to put it simply: because we can. Seriously, that’s the reason why.

It might not cross our minds every day, but most of the things associated with blindness which are negative, such as being unaware of one’s environment, being clumsy, very apologetic, having this humble still like nature and blah blah yakity schmakity, can typically be attributed to how the public treats blind individuals. It’s never “hey blind person, come and get involved in what we as a society is taking part in.” It’s always “hey blind person, stay out of the way while society gets involved and we will throw ya a bone.”

Think of a blind man. Now, honestly describe that person. Is that person someone you want to hang out with, have dinner with, or how about introduce your attractive single sister to?

We are going rafting because it is a confidence builder, a confidence booster, and a good time. The secret to blindness training, as I’ve discovered, is not necessarily the skill one learns, as those skills can be taught in a classroom, from a book, or online, it is the practice of those skills, and most importantly, it’s how they translate into confidence.

There have been some studies which show that for many people, having a terminal illness would be preferred than simply being blind. AIDS, Cancer, suicide have all been chosen as things which would be better than blindness.

These attitudes strip blind people of not only self-esteem, , but also dignity, respect, and of course Confidence.

It is the enslavement of the mind of a small minority by a society; it is at times the self enslavement of the mind of a minority by its own members, as it perpetuates on itself the stereotypes of the general public; but rarely is blindness enslavement because of lack of useful eyes.

Time flies by, so we must make the best of it

now that we are here, because it's now that we are here together, and we already know each others bad habits. We can work with that...

I've all ready started to do so.

I have 4 months of training still. Below is my last accomplishment.

Dinner for 8, under sleep shades, using only brailled recipes, and having shopped under sleepshades for all of the ingredients.
Starter
- Caribbean ginger black bean soup.
Yeast-Yeast rolls

Main dish
-Grilled salmon with mango avocado relishCurry grilled eggplant (sorry vegetarians, the eggplant was burned at the grill)



-Parmisian garlic mashed potatoes

Dessert
Home made coconut icecream

The meal took forever to make, serve but not digest.

Thanks to all who filled their bellies that day.

Get Wet!

Little Ones

It's overwhelming, microscopic moments in the day in which I want to take the sleepshades off. It does not occur when I'm on a travel lesson, or attempting to locate a misplaced or forgotten itemm in the kitchen; it happens when I step into the bathroom, or for a second when I'm waiting in a line. The mind plays tricks on us all and this is one of those tricks I can't figure out.

Here is another overwhelming and brief thought;much like that Twilight Zone episode where a man complains about not ever having enough time, and he loves to read, then finally time stopsstill just for him and he finds himself in a library, but has the misfortune of breaking his reading glasses. Well, There I was, bored, nothing to do except lose time. There were books all around me, volumes upon volumes, and all in braille. I can't read braille as of yet. Sad, it is just sad.... I hate to say it, but it must be said:If you cannot read print, and cannot read braille, you are functionally illiterate. I'm working on this braille business...


The wood shop is starting to not feel so frightining.

Travel lessons are really testing the boundreis. If I can travel without sight, and by travel I mean I've been doing this for only about 3 weeks and am already feeling the ninja skills growing.

When one comes to a small town, one does begin to gossip. Man I've never trashed talked so much in my life and enjoyed it.

I've gained about 7lbs.

Hitting the gym soon.